What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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