Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
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ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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