it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
