I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize