took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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