I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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