Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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