I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
