fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
