Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
