So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
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FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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