I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
