Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
