I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
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Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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