I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize