What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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