quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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