you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
