I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
