Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
