girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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