You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
