I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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