i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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