thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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