Capitaan dildo arrescate!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
