You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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