I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
