I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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