Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
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I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world