my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.