i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
