My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize