i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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