Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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