Non-Jews are for practice
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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