therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
