Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
