sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
