Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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