Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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