dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
