Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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