Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
