real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
