I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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