During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
