Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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