I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
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he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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