The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
