not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
