You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
