ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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