it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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