cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
