As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
