Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
