apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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