I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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