Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So much rum. So many feels.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
