She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize