i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
