I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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