He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
