I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
