some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
