So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
