the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
